


Take Care Of Who You Love

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Has Self-Worth Issues, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Alec Lightwood, Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Fluff, Forgiveness, Gentle Dom Magnus Bane, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Kneeling, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Non-Sexual Submission, Post-Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Protective Magnus Bane, Romantic Fluff, Self-Reflection, Service Submission, Sub Alec Lightwood, Understanding Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28908186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Magnus notices that Alec has been tense since they got back together after the Soul Sword episode. He starts to worry when he sees Alec has started to overtrain and hurt himself again. When he confronts Alec with it, Magnus realize that Alec is waiting for Magnus to punish him for his actions. Magnus gives Alec what he needs in a tender, loving, and understanding way, enabling them both to move past their breakup.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 42
Kudos: 418





	Take Care Of Who You Love

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always: Cindy and Monochromatize. Special thanks to Cindy for the title suggestion.  
> Thanks so much to Regina Danica for the great story banner and art.  
> Chapter warnings: Mention of child abuse, mention of selfharm, mention of D/s sex, none sexual submission, service submission, slighly autistic traits illustrated in Alec if you want to see it, mention of child abuse, mention of child soldiers, mention of self-worth issues. Mention of punishments. Talk of power and forgiveness.

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Take Care Of Who You Love

In hindsight Magnus would have done many things differently in his life. However, his most recent regret was how he had managed the episode with Alec and the Soul Sword. Alec was barely more than a boy, raised in a strict and brutal military regime, used to painful punishments for mistakes. He had known about the Soul Sword for hours and Magnus had left him for not telling him then and there. While it sounded romantic to find a partner who would have done so, now that Magnus was calm and could reflect on the situation it was wholly unrealistic. If Alec had told him right away, he would have committed treason and treason was in worst cases punishable by death. It was not a decision easily made by any warrior, any soldier, under any regime, in the Shadow World or in the Mundane world.

However, when Magnus had gotten to know Alec, he had discovered that for him personally disobeying orders was even harder. It was clearly something unique to him as Izzy and Jace had disobeyed Clave orders left and right when Magnus had first met Alec. Over time Magnus had learned that Alec had readily accepted the expected punishment the Clave had given for his disobedience; no military regime in the world – by it the Mundane world or the Shadow World – could or would ever let disobedience go unpunished. However, clearly Izzy and Jace had not feared punishment so why had Alec been so keen to obey orders? Magnus had at first thought it was blind loyalty to the Clave that made Alec so obedient, but he discovered quickly that wasn’t the case. Alec had never seemed to even notice Magnus was a Downworlder, hadn’t really cared. He had, however, been keenly aware of the scandal and dishonor, not to mention the severe consequences, being with another man would have if he gave into his desires for Magnus. He had known it was forbidden and had been raised to think it was wrong. It was a rule set in stone he had been told could never be broken for any reason.

Magnus had first later realized how amazing a declaration of love their first kiss, in public no less, had truly been. For Alec to not only openly defy the Clave, his parents, customs, and traditions, but to break a rule that he had been told was unbreakable….It was first now that Magnus truly saw how much Alec had had to overcome within himself to do that. Magnus knew now that it wasn’t punishment Alec feared for giving into his attraction to Magnus; he expected punishment for failure or breaking rules. No, it was breaking the rule itself. As Alec had started to stay over more and more at the loft Magnus had discovered that Alec seemed in general to find ambiguity hard and change difficult. He liked his routines and doing well-established things. His main venture out of his comfort zone was Magnus and everything he did. However, in everything else he preferred routines, rules, and order. He had over time accepted Magnus’ organized chaos at the loft but would organize everything from pencils to books whenever he had an opportunity to do so. Magnus would just smile fondly when he saw Alec had organized something at the loft and would tell himself to keep with the system Alec had made for him. However, after a few days Magnus would have turned everything back to the chaos he was used to, and Alec would reorganize it again sometime later. Magnus had asked if Alec was frustrated with the chaos, but Alec claimed he wasn’t. Magnus had noticed Alec seemed to almost enjoy the organizing itself more than the result, often doing it after a stressful day to calm down.

After a while Magnus had observed that Alec would tend to stand at parade rest whenever they spoke, his hands clasped behind his back. Having known military men in the past, Magnus recognized the pose but had been puzzled when Alec had persisted in doing it, even after they had been together for a while. He had asked Alec about it, reassuring him he didn’t mind but wanted to make sure it wasn’t him that made Alec uncomfortable or nervous and thus prompting the pose. Alec had assured him it wasn’t; he felt relaxed with the familiar pose and he had explained it had helped him growing up from fiddling with things as he often felt unsure what to do with his hands.

Magnus hadn’t really thought more about these qualities in Alec, loving him just the way he was. When he realized Alec was uncomfortable in social gatherings and wasn’t fond of small talk, often speaking too direct, frafrankly,d honestly for most people’s liking, Magnus had assumed Alec was simply introverted. It wasn’t until Cat had met Alec a few times she remarked that he reminded her of some patients on the autistic spectrum, saying that Alec had few hobbies and focus areas but when he did it went all the way and excelled in it. Curious Magnus had read some books about adults on the autistic spectrum Cat had recommended and had to agree some traits seemed to fit. However, knowing a bit about Maryse and her parenting skills and the resulting harsh upbringing Alec had had, Magnus had no way of knowing what precisely had prompted Alec’s behavior. In particular when considering that Idris’ solution to any hint of individuality or uniqueness in their citizens was to push harder and more brutally towards conformality and keeping everything the same way it had been for ages. However, no matter the reasons, then Magnus was now aware of Alec’s inner struggles and needs and was determined to try and help and be as understanding as he could be, trying to help Alec relax using some of the things he had had started to realize helped Alec suggested in the books like quiet surroundings, organizing things and familiar routines. 

So, in hindsight Magnus knew his anger towards Alec regarding the Soul Sword had been misguided for several reasons. He had been betrayed and hurt in the past, by Nephilim more than any other race. He had taken that out on Alec had it hadn’t been fair. Magnus had to confront a less than stellar part of himself when he realized this. Even more so that even after realizing it he had still waited for Alec to come and apologize. Which he had done over and over on Magnus’ machining machine, in fire messages, Mundane letters, SMS messages or in any other way he possibly could. However, Magnus had not been ready yet to move beyond his past betrayal. Until that day behind the Hunter’s Moon bar after Valentine’s demise. Despite worrying Alec wouldn’t come back to him, a part of Magnus had known he would. Magnus knew that the part of him that had worried had been clouded by his past pain once more. However, being immortal it was difficult to ignore the past when evaluating current events and actions, even though Magnus was determined to try.

Alec had made getting back together easy. He had approached him that day behind the bar, apologized again, and proclaimed his love also for the nth time since the breakup, meaning all Magnus had had to do was go along with it. Magnus had been overjoyed to have Alec back and had eagerly showered him in gifts, trips, and attention, finding Alec’s flustered joy at his praise and attention endearing. However, as days passed into weeks Magnus became more and more aware of the tension in Alec. It was like he was expecting a fight or something. He agreed with anything Magnus suggested or asked and was eager to please.

Alec had always been afraid to hurt him, afraid he would leave and eager to satisfy him in any and all ways, enjoying doing so and Magnus frankly loved the attention. However, this time it was different. There was a worry about it, an expectation that something bad would happen that Magnus didn’t understand.

When Alec came back one afternoon from the Institute and they had shared a cocktail and talked about how their day had been, Magnus decided to confront Alec with it.

“Alexander,” Magnus started, playing with his cocktail glass.

“Yes?” Alec replied, questioning.

“Are you…ok?” Magnus settled with, giving him a concerned look as he stroked his right arm tenderly.

Alec nodded as he quickly replied, too quickly, “Of course.”

Magnus finished his cocktail and put his glass on a nearby table and Alec did likewise, tensing a bit.

Magnus frowned in worry as he remarked, “You have been rather tense lately and you have been spending a lot of time at the Institute, working out for hours after work even though I magic’d a training room for you here.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll stop and be here more,” Alec swiftly assured, looking down worried for a moment, fiddling a bit with the hem of his shirt.

As soon as he realized he was fiddling Alec quickly clasped his hands behind his back, standing at parade rest, forcing a neutral expression. However, his eyes remained uncertain and hesitant.

Seeing this Magnus only got more concerned. He had noticed early on that Alec would tend to fiddle if he were nervous or worried. However, when Magnus had tried to ask if he were ok whenever he would do it Alec had between the lines told him that it had been drilled into him, rather painfully, since childhood, that he couldn’t. That a warrior had to remain calm. So, whenever he felt that need to fiddle with something, he instead stood at parade rest.

“No, darling. It wasn’t a critique. Just an observation,” Magnus assured, giving him a soft smile.

Alec smiled back but still looked uncertain.

“I’ll be less tense. I swear,” Alec promised, giving him a worried but serious look.

“You also hurt yourself again,” Magnus told him matter of fact, no judgement in his voice, just an observation as well as worry and sympathy.

Alec tightened his grip on his wrist behind his back even though he knew Magnus would never humiliate him by forcefully taking his hands and pointing out his bruised knuckles from overtraining or the other unhealed scrapes and wounds on his hands, wrists, and body in general.

“I’ll use iratzes,” Alec promised quietly, his eyes downcast, unable to look at him.

Alec blushed in embarrassment at being called out on it, even though he knew Magnus only asked out of concern, not to belittle him for being ‘weak’ the way his mother had when she had first discovered his tendency to harm himself on the outside when he hurt on the inside.

Even though Magnus had always been so kind and understanding about him doing this, hurting himself when the pain inside became too much, he had a hard time accepting he really didn’t judge him. He knew any Nephilim would. Even Jace and Izzy who both loved him had always had difficulties wrapping their heads around him doing this to himself and they both mostly just ignored it if possible. If it became really bad though Jace would be all mother hen-like in his attempt to ‘fix it’, as he felt the echoes of Alec’s mental and physical pain.

“Alexander, not seeing your pain is not what I want from this,” Magnus remined him gently. “I want you to actually not hurt; not to just suffer in secret.”

Alec squirmed uncomfortably. Magnus deserved better than a boyfriend he always had to worry about. Why couldn’t he get this right?! 

“I’m sorry I am such a burden,” Alec said brokenly, giving him a pained look.

His hands tightened and his knuckles became white from the force of the grip. He finally dared to look up but still didn’t look into Magnus’ eyes, settling for a spot over his right ear.

“That I can’t be normal,” Alec whispered anguished.

“Normal is overrated, darling,” Magnus assured him, smiling fondly at him, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. “You are perfect the way you are.”

Alec barely heard the praise, the compliment, too focused on his internal insecurities and fears.

“I will do better in the future. I swear,” Alec insisted strongly, nodding, sounding desperate and fearful.

Alec bit his lower lip till it bled, worried and anxious, so close to begging Magnus to not leave him again, to not ever abandon him again. He would not be able to cope if he did.

Magnus sighed, giving him a worried look.

“Alexander, relationships are not endurance tests,” Magnus told him tenderly.

Alec frowned, giving him a puzzled look as he asked hesitantly, “What do you mean?”

“It’s ok to be tense. You don’t ever have to justify your feelings to me. I’m just worried. You know I’m here for you,” Magnus reminded him, his eyes soft and filled with love.

Alec smiled warmly and nodded, “Yes.”

He did know that. Somewhat. Magnus had left him after all. Love had to be earned. He had lost that love, that trust. He had to earn it back. He had to make amends. Things were out of balance and he had to find a way to fix it.

Something in Alec’s eyes made Magnus give him a piercing look as he asked, “You do, right?”

Alec avoided his eyes as he quickly nodded and assured him, “Of course.”

Magnus frowned, giving him a searching look.

“You don’t,” Magnus concluded calmly.

Alec went white as a sheet and froze, panic starting to set in. He had done it wrong; again. What was wrong with him?! Magnus would leave for sure now.

“I do! I do!” Alec pleaded desperately.

“You are right not to. I was wrong, the way I acted,” Magnus reminded him tenderly, his voice calming and reassuring.

Alec calmed down a bit but gave him a puzzled look.

“What do you mean?”

Magnus sighed, fighting to keep his past hurt at bay.

“I have been hurt and betrayed in the past, in particular by Nephilim and I took it all out on you,” Magnus explained frankly, giving him a regretful look. He gave him an apologetic smile as he added, “You didn’t deserve it.”

Alec looked puzzled at him, not understanding what he was talking about.

“Of course, I did,” Alec insisted firmly. “I betrayed you. I made a mistake, a horrible mistake.”

Alec looked down for a moment, finding the courage to face what was to come. Actions had consequences. The only way for things to balance again, to move past this, was for him to pay for that mistake. His parents had taught him that, the Clave had taught him that. His whole life he had known this to be a fact. If he faced the consequences for this action then finally, they could be them again, they could move past this.

Magnus shook his head, “It was a lose-lose situation for you. I realize that now.”

Alec finally looked Magnus in the eyes as he said calmly, with complete certainty, “I must be punished.”

For a moment Magnus was stunned into silence.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked puzzled.

“I made a mistake,” Alec insisted, blushing in embarrassment at his own weakness. However, his voice was sure and even as he went on, “I hesitated to tell you about the Soul Sword. I made an error of judgement.”

“Well…” Magnus began a bit uncomfortably, about to remind him that he hadn’t really given him much chance to be truthful.

“I did,” Alec insisted firmly, interrupting him, nodding furiously. He hesitated but then added, “I should be punished.”

Magnus was trying to follow Alec’s reasoning he really was, but he wasn’t getting it at all.

“I don’t get the connection, darling,” Magnus admitted softly, giving him a puzzled look.

Alec rolled his eyes in frustration.

“Magnus, for the love the of Angel just do it already!” Alec almost yelled, combing a hand through his hair in exasperation.

“Do what?” Magnus asked, confused.

Alec looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. As soon as he saw he was doing it again he stood at parade rest once more, his hands behind his back.

Alec looked Magnus in the eyes as he replied in a small but even voice, “Punish me.”

“What?” Magnus asked, dumbstruck.

“For hurting you. For doing wrong. For making a mistake so horrible I lost you for it,” Alec explained softly, pain in his voice at the memory.

“What?” Magnus asked confused and shocked, unsure he was hearing this right.

Sure, Magnus had been hurt but it had mainly been his own fault. He had been hurt because he had remembered past hurts. Alec had barely known of the Soul Sword for more than a few hours. He hadn’t given him a real chance to choose him over his race, his people, his nation….telling him would have meant high treason and would have meant Alec would have risked being severely punished; de-runing or more likely facing a death sentence. Expecting such a decision to be taken in a few hours was unfair towards Alec, towards anyone.

“Just punish me already and get it over with!” Alec insisted strongly, giving him a piercing look, sounding on edge and irritated.

Magnus was about to say something, opening his mouth but then shut it again as things suddenly fell into place for him.

“Is that why you have been so tense? You are waiting for me to punish you?” Magnus asked, giving him a sympathetic and intense look.

Alec looked uncertain and confused by the question as he replied, ”Well…yes.”

“Why?” Magnus asked, genuinely puzzled.

Magnus had known many Nephilim in his days. They had all talked a big game of rules and order and Heavenly obligations, but Alec was the first Nephilim he had ever met who consistently followed the rules and got almost panicked if faced with breaking them. Whatever the reason for this then it was still something Magnus had to get used to.

“Actions have consequences,” Alec said strongly, seriously. “When I fail, I expect to be punished.”

Magnus frowned in concern; he had heard Alec say this several times, starting from before they had even been a couple. He had known Maryse during the Uprising as Valentine’s second in command and despite having met her a handful of times after getting to know Alec, Magnus had no illusions about what type of woman and mother she had been. She may, or may not, have softened somewhat with years, but the Maryse he had known, had been brutal. Fierce. Every inch Valentine’s supporter, she had despised any sign of weakness and saw mercy, love, and compassion as flaws rather than virtues. Magnus had no doubt Alec, as sensitive, sympathetic, and understanding as he was, would have suffered greatly growing up with her. The more he got to know Alec the more Magnus realized Alec was the only Nephilim he had ever met who actually lived and breathed the true meaning of the Nephilim code of duty, honor and obligation. However, no one else seemed to do so, making Alec the scapegoat.

“Darling, in a relationship both sides are bound to make mistakes. It’s normal,” Magnus assured him.

Alec shook his head, sighing in frustration, “You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” Magnus tried patiently.

Alec fought with himself to get the words out. However, when he spoke, he was calm and even, leaving Magnus in no doubt he meant it, “You need to punish me so we can move past this.”

Magnus was unsure what to say to that.

“But…we _are_ past this,” Magnus replied, dumbstruck. He gave Alec a searching look as he added, “Aren’t we?”

“Not till you punish me,” Alec insisted stubbornly.

Magnus was about to argue, wanting to explain he never wanted to punish Alec or deliberately hurt him in any way, but then fell silent. He was not going to change years of upbringing overnight. He wasn’t even sure he ever could. There was an element to Alec, for whatever reason, that meant he took rules, mistakes and how to fix them very seriously. His tendency towards self-harm made it clear that if no one punished him then he just punished himself as he had been doing now, that was how strongly he believed that if he felt he had done wrong then he should be punished.

“How are you expecting me to punish you?” Magnus asked carefully.

Alec seemed to relax a bit, taking the question as agreement.

Alec shrugged as if it didn’t matter, “Any way you want to.”

“Any way?” Magnus repeated, frowning with the implications of Alec so readily giving another person such power. He was flattered Alec did it with him, but he worried Alec may have done it with someone else in the past who would abuse such power, such trust.

Alec nodded firmly, “Yes.”

“Just to understand this correctly…you are expecting me to what…hurt you?” Magnus asked slowly, thinking out loud.

Alec stood up straighter, tensing a bit yet also looking relieved that the moment he had waited for had finally arrived.

“Yes,” Alec confirmed, nodding.

“Could you give examples, so I know what you mean?” Magnus asked, trying to sound as calm as he could even though he wanted to scream, cry, hug Alec….something and most certainly anything _but_ hurt him.

“My mother would give me a lashing when I was younger but later it was mostly pointing out my mistake in public, choosing others before me for missions or having me do tasks like clean the weapons or toilets,” Alec revealed after thinking about the question for a while. He forced a smile as he added darkly, “The other Nephilim loved that; a Lightwood scrubbing floors on his knees.”

Magnus had always known making children into soldiers like Idris did was not done in a kind and gentle way and yet still hearing Alec had suffered like this broke his heart.

“Oh, darling,” Magnus said pained, sympathetically.

“But after my punishment everything was good again,” Alec insisted stubbornly. He looked almost pleadingly at Magnus as he went on, “So just select anything you think is appropriate. I can take it.”

“Darling, love should not be about _taking it_ ,” Magnus insisted sadly.

“Magnus,” Alec said, sighing, suddenly sounding very tired and old. He gave Magnus a desperate and imploring look as he added, “Stop playing with me, please. Just move us past this.”

Seeing how drained Alec was, how much he needed this, wanted this, Magnus stopped dismissing it outright, realizing this was an Alec thing, maybe a part of his personality, maybe a consequence of his upbringing…maybe something else entirely. No matter what it was then Magnus was never going to make this go away overnight, maybe never, no matter how much he wanted it to.

“So…punishment. Would that always mean physically hurt you?” Magnus asked slowly, giving Alec a searching look.

Magnus would rather die than ever hurt Alec, but their breakup had shown Magnus that whatever Alec needed he would gladly give. If Alec needed him to do this, to help him move past this, then he would find a way to see that happen.

Alec looked down for a moment before adding quietly, his cheeks red, “It could be other stuff too.”

“Other stuff?” Magnus asked, unsure what he meant, raising an eyebrow questioning at him.

“You know…” Alec began, blushing furiously now, looking down. “Like what we do sometimes but this time I would then not be good.”

Magnus knew just what he meant. Alec had been eager but hesitant in bed, wanting and needing confirmation he was doing well, that he was good enough. Magnus had quickly discovered that orders in general, also in the bedroom, made Alec feel calmer and more relaxed. At first it had been milder things they had done; orders about what to do, where to go, Alec kneeling, Magnus praising him when he did well. They had slowly started doing more adventurous things when Alec had admitted he wanted to do different things in bed but was too embarrassed to initiate it, so he wanted Magnus to take the reins which he gladly did. Having had 5000 lovers had its advantages after all.

“Darling, you are always good. That’s why we do it. I want to tell you, you are good, and you want to be good,” Magnus reminded him in a fond and warm voice.

“Well, I wasn’t good here with this,” Alec insisted stubbornly.

“Alexander, when we do a scene like that, I want it to be about both of our pleasure. Yours to submit to me and find release in that and me in receiving that from you. I do not want to tarnish that with your painful childhood memories,” Magnus insisted firmly, not willing to go there.

“Tell me what to do then,” Alec begged desperately.

“There is nothing to do, darling. There is no punishment needed,” Magnus told him strongly but surely.

“You don’t understand,” Alec said frustrated.

“No, I don’t,” Magnus admitted. His gaze softened as he added almost tenderly, “But try and explain it to me then.”

Alec bit his lower lip again, fighting to find the right words.

“I need something. I can’t move on otherwise,” Alec admitted, giving him an anguished look.

“What if I say I forgive you?” Magnus offered, stroking his cheek tenderly.

Alec leaned into the touch eagerly, soaking it up. However, when Magnus withdrew his hand Alec still looked pained.

“It’s not enough,” Alec admitted, heartbroken. “All my life failure has meant pain. It has been how I have been able to forgive myself and move on.” He paused before he added frantically, “I need something. Else I will keep doing it myself and then I’m not sure when to stop.”

Magnus saw how Alec was almost shaking, tears having formed in the corners of his eyes. He quickly pulled Alec into a tight embrace, smiling when Alec sighed, relieved, and eagerly let the Warlock take care of him, Magnus’ arms warm and protective around him.

“Ok, I’ve got you, darling. I’ve got you,” Magnus soothed, his hands drawing calming patterns on Alec’s back.

He pulled a bit back and gave Alec a loving and soft smile before he kissed his lips tenderly. Alec closed his eyes, enjoying the taste and feel of the Warlock he loved so dearly.

“I love you,” Magnus told him warmly when the kiss ended.

Alec opened his eyes finally and gave Magnus a brilliant smile as he readily replied, “I love you too.”

Magnus smiled at that as he cupped his cheek, giving Alec a searching look.

“You want a punishment to move on?” Magnus asked seriously, removing his hand again so he could keep holding Alec close with one hand on each off his hips.

Alec bid his lower lip once more but nodded before replying so quietly Magnus almost couldn’t hear him, “Yes.”

“Very well,” Magnus said reflectively, trying to think of something.

He didn’t want to physically hurt Alec for this. It had been a misunderstanding and he had long forgiven that. However, he understood Alec needed something to move on, to balance the scales. To feel he had done something so that he could forgive himself and move on. So, he needed to think of something else. He began to smile when an idea came to him.

“Go to my office and arrange my books, spells, potions…everything should be sorted first alphabetically and then color coded,” Magnus ordered, his voice affectionate.

His words made Alec beam, clearly as eager for the task as Magnus had hoped. There was a service-mindedness to Alec, Magnus had never seen in another Nephilim. He genuinely wanted to please others, to make the world a better place, to be there for others. Doing something for him had always pleased Alec, no matter if it was cooking, helping with spells, giving him a massage…. and this focus and joy on servicing him was what Magnus hoped to draw on.

“Really?” Alec asked, sounding doubtful it was truly punishment enough.

Magnus nodded, “Yes.” He paused before he went on in a frank and even tone, “It would actually be a great help to me as well.”

Seeing he was telling the truth Alec nodded eagerly.

“I can do that,” Alec swore seriously.

Magnus smiled at that before claiming the Nephilim’s lips in yet another affectionate kiss. Magnus then showed Alec to his office and everything that needed sorting…which was in fact almost everything as Magnus had reverted everything that had been sorted back to his usual organized chaos. Alec had eagerly started his task. Magnus had left the door to the office open while going to the living room, pretending to read a book while he in reality had his full focus on Alec. He kept magical tabs on him and made sure he sat in a chair that allowed him to see Alec through the open door in the office. Alec was focused on his task, his body language relaxed and more at ease than it had been in a long time as he worked.

The task took several hours as Magnus had expected but finally Alec alerted him that he was done. When Magnus walked into the office Alec quickly stood at parade rest, an expectant look on his face, his hands behind his back.

“All done, darling?” Magnus asked tenderly, smiling encouraging at him, looking around the room, awed to see the amazingly sorted collection he was now the proud owner of.

Alec nodded, “Yes.”

“Looks great!” Magnus exclaimed while looking around in more detail. Nothing was out of place or missing. Alec as always had paid perfect attention to every detail.

“Thank you,” Alec said, beaming happily at the praise.

Magnus kept looking around for a few minutes. When his eyes settled on Alec he smiled tenderly, “Well done.”

Alec seemed to almost beam in joy at his words.

“What now?” Alec asked, giving him an eager look.

Magnus just smiled.

“I’ll take care of you, darling. Don’t worry,” Magnus promised, offing his hand expectantly.

Alec took it without pause or hesitation, “I know.”

Magnus smiled warmly at hearing that. He squeezed Alec’s hand tightly before guiding him to the living room. He had had hours to think of Alec’s next task and he knew just what to do. With kind orders and guidance, he let Alec do tasks for him, making him know he was useful and did a great job. He had Alec cook for them and prepare a meal Magnus had selected, one of his favorite dishes, praising him every step of the way, making the Nephilim glow with happiness. When Alec had cleared up after the meal, with even more praise from Magnus, the Warlock had guided him to the living room.

Magnus pointed to a spot next to his favorite chair, giving Alec a fond look.

“Kneel there,” Magnus ordered, his voice strong but loving as he with a snap of his fingers had magic’d a soft pillow on the spot he had pointed to.

Alec hastily obeyed, eager to do as he had been told. When he was kneeling, he looked up at Magnus with a questioning but loving look. Magnus smiled at him as he sat down in the chair.

“Good boy. You’re doing so well,” Magnus praised, stroking Alec’s hair tenderly.

His praise had Alec positively glow.

“Thank you,” Alec said joyfully.

Magnus magic’d himself a cocktail, made soft music play and made his favorite book appear on the coffee table. He kept stroking Alec’s hair as he read, still keeping magical tabs on Alec’s body reactions. Some minutes passed and Magnus noticed Alec was still sitting rigid and straight.

“You can lean against me and relax but no talking unless it’s to safe word,” Magnus told him, smiling warmly down at him before he claimed his lips in a soft kiss.

Alec nodded when Magnus drew back, smiling back as he did indeed lean against him, his body relaxing at once at the familiar and beloved smell and feel of the Warlock, “Ok.”

“Perfect,” Magnus purred, making Alec smile contently.

Magnus kept one hand on Alec’s shoulder, letting the touch ground him. He kept visual and magical tabs on him throughout the evening, sensing that after almost two hours Alec was blissfully floating, zoned out and finally completely relaxed.

“Come, darling, time for bed,” Magnus whispered affectionately, shaking Alec’s shoulder slightly to get him to sit up so he could stand.

Alec gave Magnus a questioningly look, smiling happily when Magnus used his magic to be able to scoop Alec up into his arms bridal style and carry him towards the bedroom. Alec sighed contently and snuggled close, his arms around Magnus’ neck and his face hidden in the curve between his shoulder and his neck. He felt safe and cared for, protected, and loved. He had never felt so at peace, so accepted. So at home as he did right now.

“Did I do good?” Alec mumbled, somewhere between asleep and in subspace, feeling content and relaxed, knowing he was safe here in Magnus’ embrace, that he would take care of him, always.

“You did wonderful,” Magnus promised warmly, kissing the top of his head.

Magnus laid Alec gently on the bed, giving him a tender look. He magic’d them both into sleepwear and made them ready for bed. He then crawled into bed himself. Magnus couldn’t help but smile softly when Alec snuggled up against Magnus as soon as he was in bed, holding him as close as if he were a koala bear hugging a tree.

“Am I forgiven?” Alec whispered softly as he kissed Magnus’ neck almost reverently.

Alec lifted his head to look at Magnus as he replied to his question, a hint of nervousness for the answer clear in his eyes and face.

Magnus stroked Alec’s cheek affectionately as he said, “You never needed to be forgiven but yes, of course.”

Alec smiled joyfully, relaxing at once. He put a hand over Magnus’ on his cheek, leaning into the touch.

“I love you,” Alec told him with a fond smile.

“I love you too, darling,” Magnus swore, claiming his lips in a loving but possessive kiss.

Magnus smiled when he saw the blissful look on Alec’s face the kiss had given him.

“And you’re feeling better now?” Magnus asked, giving Alec a searching look.

Alec nodded, smiling warmly. He gave Magnus a warm but chaste kiss on the lips before snuggling close again.

“Yes. I feel solid now,” Alec mumbled sleepily, contently. “Centered again. The scales balance.”

Magnus wasn’t quite sure what that meant but if Alec was happy then he was happy.

“Good,” Magnus said, relieved, holding him close.

“Thank you for understanding,” Alec mumbled quietly, snuggling even closer if that was even possible.

“I can’t ever truly understand the depth and complexity of your feelings, but I have an idea and I want to give you everything you need. Also this,” Magnus promised seriously.

Alec lifted his head to look at hm, smiling widely.

“You are perfect for me,” Alec said breathlessly, in awe.

“As are you for me. Never doubt that, Alexander,” Magnus said heartfelt, giving him a look so filled with love it was almost a tangible object in the room.

Their lips met in a tender but explosive kiss. They first separated when they needed to breathe.

“I love you so much,” Alec confessed emotionally, getting misty-eyed.

“I love you too. Always,” Magnus promised warmly.

When Alec snuggled back against Magnus’ chest he was smiling joyfully when he discovered that Magnus was letting magic write invisible love messages on Alec’s naked arms. After a few moments Alec was able to decipher the invisible writing and his heart overflooded with joy and love. The magic was saying things like: _I love you. You’re perfect for me. You’re my everything._

Alec smiled all throughout the night, unable to quite understand he had found a lover and partner who was so understanding, so perfect. Unknown to Alec, Magnus was thinking the same thing. Alec satisfied everything in him. His soft side, his need to love and be loved in return. His protective nature. His demonic need for power and dominance. His need to love completely and all-consumingly.

In some ways they were vastly different, but in their pursuit of love they were on the same page. This ordeal with the Soul Sword had proven to them that they could survive and endure everything. That despite their past teachings and past pain they loved each other heart and soul. For both of them, they now knew they would rather hurt themselves than ever see one tear in the others’ eye.

They had both searched so long for someone to love them as they were. Flaws and breaks. Imperfections and oddities. With their baggage and their mistakes. They had finally found that. Maybe some would not get them, would not understand their love or how they loved. But what did that matter? They got it. They understood. Here in each other’s arms the world could be made right and perfect and love always won out. And their world was really all that mattered.

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed the story. It would mean a lot to me.  
> If you enjoyed this story please check out my other Malec stories - a lot of them have a semilar dynamic or theme: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/works?fandom_id=6856609


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